This phrase kept coming up as this day progressed: “I’m not moving through time; time is moving through me”. As I began each period of meditation today I perceived myself as moving through time. But as I got into the flow in the moment, I noticed a marked shift – and I saw that time was indeed moving through me. Two very different perspectives. And how is that helpful? Well, in the one perspective, I feel like I am the one doing ‘the doing’, the moving…In the second, I get out of the way and let the Doer “do’ it – I am not ‘doing’ anything. I am simply being. It is from this place or state that I feel I have experienced much of these meditations.
And I received a texted query this morning from a fellow meditating friend of mine: “How is life there?” he asked. My answer was simple: “Activated.” I could have added “Ang sung wahe guru (‘every cell in my body is vibrating with that of God’). That is how I walked out of our session yesterday, and I just stayed vibrating in this frequency.
As I laid my head down on my pillow last night, I sensed deeply into my body. I felt my heart beat literally into and within every cell in my body. Wow! For someone who spent most of my life doing whatever I could to jump out of my body, to stuff down, ignore, numb out, or otherwise effect and change what and how I was feeling in the moment, this truly is an extraordinary event. I not only feel comfortable in my own skin, I feel joyful beyond measure to be in my skin.
I woke off and on during the night and could not help but notice the intensity of the life force moving through me and pulsing in every avenue, corner, niche, nook and cranny, every tiny little spot. I got activated all right. We all did. And my fears of fully feeling are but remote echoes that feel now far in my past. That I am here, in this moment, fully feeling and embracing all that it brings with it – well, I have stepped yet again into what Tommy calls “an impossible moment”. And we are all living this impossible moment together – well that takes us right beyond the impossible moment – into the Infinite Itself…
In Day 6 we moved further into the Transcendent Self. This part of the journey through the 21 stages centers around the ability to ‘drop the ego’ and experience our presence as limitless. For me this journey was a point-counterpoint kind of experience. As the meditations moved along, I felt both tethered firmly to the finite, in my body and on earth in this plane of existence, and at the same time, I felt and perceived a state of expansiveness far beyond the confines of my physical body, and radiating right out into the Infinite. It is difficult for me to describe this state as it is essentially experiential. This is where a poet should take over for me in my journaling. Ang sung wahe guru is the best description I know of.
I am at a loss for any more words in this moment. I have readied myself for this last day and the last two stages: sage and infinite pulse. I leave you with an image of the gong we are so blessed to have as a part of some of our meditation periods and this piece from Yogi Bhajan’s writing on Stage 20 – Sage:
“Of the four kinds of beings,
from Brahma to a blade of grass,
only the Sage can renounce aversion and desire.
Rare is he who knows himself
As One with no other – the Lord of the Universe.
He acts as he know and is never afraid.
You are immaculate, touched by nothing.
What is there to renounce?
The mind is complex – let it go.
Know the peace of dissolution…”
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