Meeting the Challenge of Relationship Change in Midlife
Meeting the challenge of relationship change in midlife can feel daunting, especially when you’re faced with evolving perspectives, shifting energies, and the deep loneliness that often accompanies this transitional stage. On a recent episode, How to Move On and Stop Feeling Loneliness After 40, of the Behind the Shades Show, host Terraine Brown sat down with recovery and betrayal trauma specialist Elizabeth Kipp to talk candidly about letting go, recalibrating self-worth, and fostering healing after 40.
LISTEN HERE.
Understanding Relationship Change After 40
As we enter midlife, personal growth can spark profound shifts in how we view ourselves and connect with those around us. Both Terraine and Elizabeth observed that their social preferences and energies had changed. Relationships you once cherished may no longer serve you, and facing these realizations can be stressful and isolating.
“People that I used to really enjoy listening to…I can’t handle it anymore,” Elizabeth Kipp shared, highlighting the importance of tuning into your own needs and boundaries as you grow. For many, this period marks a transition from codependency or addictive patterns toward greater self-acceptance – a shift that requires letting go of familiar (but unhealthy) dynamics.
Why Relationship Transitions Trigger Loneliness
Midlife often means reevaluating who makes it into the next chapter of your journey. Terraine Brown pointed out that stress often arises as we become different people, unsure which relationships will survive the change. According to Elizabeth, society’s relentless pace and pressure can exacerbate feelings of lack and disconnection, leaving us more vulnerable to loneliness.
Cultural norms (like constant celebration with alcohol or overworking to avoid the fear of losing status) can mask deeper emotional needs. Only when those distractions fade, say, when friendships shift, or a romantic partner departs, does the ache of loneliness fully surface.
Healing Loneliness and Rebuilding Self-Trust
One of the most powerful lessons shared in the episode is the importance of reclaiming self-trust. After a betrayal by a loved one, employer, or even yourself, recovery means more than simply moving on. “The tricky part was not so much in me seeing that the other person was doing what…[they were doing],” Elizabeth revealed. “The tricky part was that I didn’t trust myself to pick trustworthy people. And then I didn’t trust myself.” Period.
Healing starts with actionable self-care rituals, like Elizabeth’s daily breathwork and morning practice. Showing up for yourself regularly builds confidence and gently quiets the negative mind. Breathwork, meditation, and mindful movement help refresh your energy, release emotional toxins, and prepare you to receive new, healthier relationships.
Strategies for Embracing Relationship Change
Set Personal Boundaries: Learn to stay neutral in challenging interactions—respond calmly rather than fueling conflict or shame.
Cultivate Presence: Use breathwork and meditation to center yourself, especially when overwhelmed by racing thoughts or societal pressures.
Practice Self-Kindness: If you’re grieving relationships that no longer fit, remember that sadness is a normal part of growth. Routine self-care is the foundation for rebuilding trust and joy.
Seek Community: When loneliness is tough, reach out to recovery-oriented or supportive groups that nurture authenticity and mutual uplift.
Summary
In this episode, the Behind the Shades Show explores how midlife relationship changes challenge our identity, trigger loneliness, and force us to reevaluate our self-trust. Elizabeth Kipp shares how healing betrayal trauma—and loneliness—begins with daily self-care and mindful boundaries. The discussion offers practical, science-backed strategies to help listeners move through loss, build resilience, and embrace the next chapter with confidence and connection.
— Are you navigating a relationship change in midlife and finding it difficult and stressful? Connect with Elizabeth HERE for support.
