Beyond Relapse into Resilience: How to Overcome the Inner Saboteur

Beyond relapse into resilience is more than just a mindset – it’s a method for reclaiming your power from the grip of the inner saboteur.

If you’ve ever found yourself slipping back into an old pattern, even after months (or years) of recovery, you are not alone, and you are not failing. Relapse is not the end of the road. It’s a signal, a sacred messenger. The inner saboteur – the old, protective part of you – can be trying to help in the only way it knows how.

Let’s take a look at why we can relapse and how to shift from shame to resilience.

What Is the Inner Saboteur?

The inner saboteur is the voice in your head that whispers self-doubt, judgment, and the urge to escape. It says:

“You’ve already failed—what’s one more?”
“You’ll never get it right.”
“You’re not strong enough to keep going.”

But this voice isn’t evil. It’s old programming – a survival response to pain, stress, trauma, and overwhelming emotion. Once it tried to keep you safe once. Now, it’s keeping you stuck.

Relapse Is Information, Not Failure

Relapse isn’t a sign of weakness. It’s a sign that something in your system is overloaded, under-supported, or disconnected from its deeper intention.

We relapse when:

The nervous system is dysregulated
Our basic needs get ignored
We isolate ourselves from the community or our purpose
We fall back into reactive patterns without awareness

But the good news? These patterns can be rewired. And it begins with changing your state.

7 Daily Ways to Change Your State and Reclaim Control

These six tools are foundational to healing, not just from addiction, but from stress, chronic pain, and trauma. When the inner saboteur gets loud, use these practices to reset.

1. Breath

Deep, intentional breathing brings immediate regulation to the nervous system. Try a simple box breath:

Inhale for 4 counts
Hold for 4
Exhale for 4
Hold for 4

Repeat for 3 to 11 minutes to help calm your system fast.

2. Movement

Movement discharges trapped energy and emotion.

Go for a walk.

Dance.

Shake out your limbs.

Gentle stretching or trauma-informed yoga can help bring you back to your body.

3. Sleep

Sleep is the foundation of recovery. Poor sleep equals poor decisions. Prioritize rest, even if it means doing less. Rest is not weakness; it’s regulation.

4. Food

Sugar, caffeine, and processed foods can feed the rollercoaster of addiction.

Ground your recovery with nourishing, stable meals.

Hydrate.

Eat with intention.

5. Where Is Your Attention?

Are you spiraling in worry, shame, or past narratives? Bring your focus back to now. Try this mantra:

“I am safe in this moment. I choose presence over pattern.”

Where your attention goes, your energy flows.

6. Releasing the Past

We carry tension not just in the mind, but in the tissues. Use trauma-informed yoga kriyas or Ancestral Clearing sessions to energetically release what’s no longer serving you. Let go of inherited pain – emotionally, spiritually, and somatically.

7. Connection

Make sure to reach out to a sponsor, mentor, therapist, coach, or trusted friend. Get to a 12-Step recovery meeting where you can come out of isolation and share your experience.

The Power of Forgiveness: A Tool for Rewiring

Healing is not linear. Forgiveness is the bridge that helps us move forward without dragging the past with us.

Consider joining my 40 Days of Forgiveness Program, a guided journey to release shame, rewrite your inner narrative, and cultivate emotional sobriety. You’ll learn how to move from self-judgment to self-compassion—one breath, one mantra, one day at a time.

Avoid the Second Arrow Problem

We are all human, and we make mistakes. We can compound the stress around the mistakes we make by beating ourselves up because of it. The first metaphorical arrow is making the mistake. Shooting the second arrow is when we turn anger in on ourselves because of it. We can avoid the Second Arrow Problem by being more mindful and handling ourselves with more skill and compassion.

Resilience Is a Daily Practice

You are not your relapse. Your inner critic is not your identity. You are the one noticing the pattern, and that means you have power.

Every day, you get to choose:

Saboteur or sovereignty?
Shame or self-compassion?
Escaping the moment—or returning to it?

You are resilient, and you are a healing machine!