It never fails. I have a new task to complete. I have never done it before. My immediate response is to feel the bottom drop right out of my stomach and render a strong queasy sensation. I am charting the unknown and looking for help getting beyond the negative mind. This sinking feeling is so familiar… I feel it is even ancestral. For me, the path to the unknown is charted in a thousand, thousand moments like this. This deep-seated “no” is built into the very foundation of the stones laid in this path.
Here’s the thing. That survival impulse to check myself has kept me and all those that came before me alive. However, it does not have to define the path itself. It can reflect part of its character.
I feel that hesitancy. “Not THIS(!)Elizabeth!” I honor its cautionary tale and sent it some gratitude. Then I take a breath and let it out. I look forward into the field of possibilities before me.
“You will fail.”
I send a prayer out for courage.
“Yes. That is a distinct possibility.”
“You WILL fail.”
“Okay. I heard you the first time. Thank you for sharing and making sure I heard you.”
I send another prayer out for peace and confidence.
Then, even with trepidation coloring my footsteps, I take a tenuous step forward.
I place my foot carefully.
The ground seems firm enough. No shaky stones waiting to unbalance me…
And that is often how I move forward.
The path is unknown. I have no clue exactly where to step except forward, gingerly, carefully, yet most assuredly. My negative mind has a point… but only to a point. I have learned to respect, yet not believe everything my mind tells me.
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