I said it a week or two ago. I’ll say it once more. It’s worth a repeat, IMHO. Enough of shaming. People do stuff. They mess up. They shame others. Others shame them. It ends up being an endless cycle that feeds on itself. It’s a cycle of suffering.

For instance, in the recent case of a Starbucks’ employee calling the police on two black men sitting in the shop. These two gentlemen were humiliated, shamed, in public, and from a place of deep and ancient injustice. I’m certainly not condoning such behavior. I do not see how shaming the people and the company involved in return will help the situation. The Police Commissioner gave the two gentlemen at Starbucks an apology. Starbucks is trying to make reparations. That’s a start.

Shaming feeds our addictions to drama, to righteous anger, to outrage. I never heard of someone being lifted up or inspired by being shamed. Humiliated, yes. That’s beyond humbled. That’s humility with a persecution complex. How will we ever solve the hard, deeply ingrained problems around social injustice – in society, in our familial and personal relationships – if we are unable to drop shame as our perceived solution?

Einstein was so insightful and inspiring when he said, “We can’t solve problems using the same kind of thinking that created them.” To do so would be to cater to insanity… doing the same thing and expecting a different result.

Haven’t we witnessed enough?

Haven’t we done enough around this?

Heard enough? The jeers, the boos, the put-downs?

Are we done with coming at these problems with more vitriol?

Are we ready to find a new way to solve age-old problems?

I say an end to shaming.


Let’s find a new, constructive way to move forward and heal our wounds.

Let not make more wounds on top of the ones we already are experiencing and trying to heal.

I saw this beautiful sentence painted on a building yesterday where I live.

It said, “We cannot sow seeds with clenched fists.”

How else is peace is sown except through understanding, compassion, and forgiveness?


Forgive and move on.


An End to Shame Revisited

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