It’s Okay to Not Know the Answer – Loving Yourself Where You Are

It’s okay to not know the answer. Why not try loving yourself where you are?

We have a problem that we can’t find the answer to.

We have something in our life that we want to change, but we just can’t quite figure out how to.

We try and we try to figure it out.

We push against our frustration that we haven’t got the answer yet.

Maybe we even get impatient because we believe we should have the answer already.

This is a place of such discomfort. It also is a place of judgment. We judge the situation as intolerable. We judge ourselves for not finding the answer we want faster.

I certainly can relate to this. There is a part of me that wants to know the answer, and wants to know it now! I lose patience with myself and my ability to be a problem solver. Railing against my inability to know the answer, I am judging myself as not enough, a total fallacy. I am sitting squarely in the way, blocking grace from being able to enter. My ego has gotten the best of me. It’s not all about me figuring out, calculating an answer. It’s also about getting present, being still, quieting the insistent voice of my ego, and listening for guidance from a Higher Power.

Part of my healing journey has been about giving myself permission to not know the answer right away.

To be honest with myself.

To admit that I do not understand, and this is perfectly okay.

I remember the past when teachers and fellow students judging me for not being able to answer a question in class correctly. My patterning as a result of my school experience, and later at work, is to always try to figure out ‘the answer’; if I can’t, I judge myself as wrong and even as not enough. I have not felt safe when I did not know the answer.

I have learned to surrender to my perfectly imperfect self  who does not know the answer. With practice, I have even begun to feel safe in this space of not knowing.

This is what happens when we spin out about wanting to find a solution faster than is possible:

We lose track of the present moment by being so focused on wanting to be past the current problem. We feel the confusion we are in, we are uncomfortable, and we want to push beyond this. We are missing what is right in front of us – admitting what we are feeling now.

Can we just have a moment of honesty?

Can you surrender to the fact that you do not know?

Let’s just presence ourselves to what we are feeling right now. It’s okay if we don’t know. Breathe into what you feel in your body when you realize you do not know what to do. Surrender to the not knowing. This is where you are. Allow yourself to feel this.

It’s okay to not know.

When we admit where we are, uncomfortable as it might seem, instead of feeling the frustration of not being where we want to be, we feel freedom and release by sitting quietly in the truth. We haven’t found the answer to the problem. This is the moment of not knowing. Be here. We stop pushing against what is happening in the present and wishing that we were somewhere n the future. When we admit our uncertainty, the pressure of our frustration is suddenly relieved. When we release the pressure that we are putting on ourselves to find the answer and accept where we are on our journey, we find such solace. All that energy we were using being impatient and frustrated with ourselves is transformed into a more peaceful state. We are now much more able to be open to a new perspective on looking at the solution to our original problem.

Give yourself a break.

It’s okay to not know the answer right away. The ‘not knowing’ is part of the journey towards a solution.

Elizabeth' s Blog

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