We search for the essence of life. Sometimes life takes a hard left, a zig to my zag, and the thought comes that I must be crazy. “It wasn’t supposed to happen that way.”
What was once true is true no more. A new truth has arisen inside this new moment. Sometimes it takes such courage for me to embrace the new. A part of me tries to hang on to the old, desperately trying to recreate the feeling from before, not willing to open to the new for fear whatever that feeling was won’t ever return.
There is always an end and a beginning to change. Yet for some reason, I want to hang on to what was, instead of let go and touch the offering in the new. So, I putter and I ponder, fuss, and bustle myself into a corner where I have nowhere else to turn but myself. There is no holding onto the moment. It slips through the space between an inhale and an exhale.
Enough. I vow to do this differently. No more hemming and hawing. I will rise beyond my conditioning to hook into the past and project the future, to be anywhere but here. I see that I am standing at the threshold of uncertainty. The vast possibilities offered in the now spread out in front of me. I find cover in the breath, and taking in a sweeping inspiration, knowing that even though whatever this moment holds is a prior unknown, I find comfort and wonder in knowing that I will find the essence of truth in its center.
That hard left that zigged my zag turned out to be a Cosmic Hand guiding me to that ever-unfolding final frontier, that path with my name on it, the one I must walk myself, that path where thresholds stack up one after another. A life of change, of straight lines, gentle curves, and hard rights and lefts, beckons me to surrender the known, the old, and grasp whatever the new unveils. Herein lies the essence of life.
E. Kipp 07.04.17
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