He asked, “What is your commitment?”
I was struggling with the grip of active addiction and was being asked if my commitment was to continue the path I was on or to my healing.
Such a powerful question.
Of course, I wanted my healing.
Yet the momentum of my current circumstance felt as if it was pulling me inevitably down and away from any possibility of healing.
He said, “Are you willing to go to any lengths to heal?”
I paused for a moment at that one.
Would I do anything to get clean and sober?
Well, sure, if I could ever figure out how to break the bonds that held me so tightly.
How in the world would I ever do that?
I had no idea.
Yet… I was willing.
Willing to explore.
Willing to believe that there was something I hadn’t considered.
Something, somewhere that could give me hope that there was a chance for me.
A chance to live life differently.
A chance to shift the momentum from this downward spiral to a whole new trajectory.
I was willing.
And in my willingness, I finally found purchase.
For I had found a sacred bottom and so discovered a place from which to push off into something new.
And I found a hand reaching down to pull me up.
Yes, each of us makes the choice to change by ourselves.
And we do it together.
It starts with simply choosing to be willing.
He said, “What is your commitment?”
I said, “To holding on for dear life.”
He said, “Take my hand.”
As I reached out and grabbed his outstretched hand, I said, “Thank you.”
I’d never felt so relieved in all my life.